Always a Bridesmaid, Never A Bride

Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride

            In your late 20’s early 30’s your mailbox starts to fill up with “Save the Dates” and formal wedding invitations from many of your friends.  You’ve hit that phase in your life when it seems like all of your friends are getting married, it’s like “the thing to do”.  I’m now 30 and still single and on the road to 27 dresses literally.  For the past 6 years my free time has been filled with engagement parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties and weddings both in the US and abroad.  I would estimate that I’ve spent $3,000 dollars a year on wedding festivities and it’s not even my wedding.  When do you get to the point that you just say NO!

            Looking back when I was in college I would have never thought at the age of 30 that I would not be married let alone single! I would have never thought that out of all of my close friends that I would be the last man standing. You start asking yourself “Why me?” “How are they able to meet Mr. Right and I’m not?” I will admit there are definitely days when I think that I wish I had that special someone in my life. Or you think to yourself I’ve done everything that I’m supposed to, I’ve gone to college, worked on my career, no kids; and yet he’s still not at my front door on one knee with a pretty blue box.   At the same time I often think, look what I’ve done without that special someone; I’ve traveled the world, established myself, I’ve bought a home all on my own. To be honest with it makes me fill pretty proud. I think what keeps me going is knowing that I CAN do things on my own; and that I won’t have what I like to call “Me Time” forever; so enjoy it.  There is going to come a time in my life where I wish I could have the independence that I have now, so enjoy it.

            My call to action is for the future brides and wives of the world. Brides: when you ask your single friends to be bridesmaids in your wedding keep in mind the cost that you are asking them in take on.  If you ask any bridesmaid what can the bride do for you I can guarantee they would say that you can purchase the ugly dress your making them wear.  Wives: When you get married your free time is spent with your husband or maybe even other couples, I ask you to remember that one day you were single, don’t forget about your single friends just because you get married; because often times we were there before he was.

            Today I declare that I will never be a bridesmaid again, the next wedding I will be in is my own. I’m claiming it!


~ 30 Something



Parents Protect Your Children – RIP Treyvon Martin

When you are in your 30’s life changes, you start to think more about your future rather than just your plans for the upcoming weekend.  You start to focus more on your career and your future family if you already haven’t had children.  After last night’s guilty verdict in the Treyvon Martin case it made me think twice about even bringing children into this world.  How safe are we even more importantly how safe are our children?

February 2012 a 17-year-old African-American male was walking home from purchasing skittles and an Arizona Tea from the local 7-11, it was raining that evening so the teen had on a black hoodie as he walked back to his condo in a gated community.  While on the phone with a friend he noticed that someone was following him, he got a little scared so starting to walk faster.  The person following him was the neighborhood watch George Zimmerman however he never announced his affiliation.  Zimmerman had been on the phone with the police, who instructed him to get back in his car and that the police were on their way.  Zimmerman on the other had decided to take the law in his own hands. He followed Treyvon as they got in a tussle Zimmerman took his gun and shot Treyvon in the chest.  Zimmerman and his attorneys claimed self-defense.  A year and a half later a jury of 6 women found Zimmerman not guilty on all counts.

As a woman after hearing the results it made me think twice about bringing children into this world.  How can we protect our children if anyone just walking on the street that feels “uncomfortable or scared” can take out their gun and shoot your child directly in the chest and not have to do a day in prison?   How is this possible? Are we going to get to the point that we can’t allow our children out of or site let alone our own homes without fear of something happening to them? 

Maybe this will put it in perspective for you.  Michael Vick went to prison for 2 years for fighting dogs.  Casey Anthony and George Zimmerman both got off for killing children.  Are we saying a dog’s life is more valuable than an innocent child? Where are our priorities? Parents protect your children.

 ~ 30 Something